Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Such is life

I have logged onto this blog for the first time in months just a few moments ago, and was absolutely amazed at the number of views that I have.  I never would have thought that this blog would be as popular as it is.  I'm rather humbled actually.  Most of the time I just sit here mumbling about my life and people actually read it.

Anyway.  You're probably wondering why I dropped off the face of the Earth.  My life has changed rather drastically in the past few months.  First I moved to Turkey.  Then I moved back to the United States.  Yes, I'm back home.  This was all due to health and personal issues.  I struggled with mental and physical problems, primarily depression and digestion issues.  The food is to die for, but my stomach hates me even in the US, so there it practically curled up and cried inside my body.  That's what it felt like anyway.  I still gained 10 pounds though.

So now what?  I came back a month ago, and I start school next semester.  I'll be honest, I have gone through a roller coaster ride of emotions lately.  Hopelessness.  Worthlessness.  Determination to make these months that I would have spent in Turkey worth something now that I'm back.  I strongly encourage anyone who is thinking of coming home early to reconsider it.  While I don't exactly regret it, I miss my host family immensely, and I know I missed out on a lot.  However, I will be starting piano and voice lessons soon, which is something I have wanted to do for ages.  I've started to consider my goals in life, and what I want to achieve and do for the rest of it.  I have many dreams, and I have given up on many as well.

Over the years I have wanted to be a pilot.  A baker.  A veterinarian.  A circus performer.  Many of those I've pushed aside.  They aren't really fitting.  I'm too old to begin training for the circus again.  However, I do have two main passions in life.  Travel and music.  My internal battle is which one to pursue.  Do I go to college and find a way to travel the world, and help as many people as possible along the way?  Or do I just go for it, and fling myself into the music scene?  Anything is possible.  With enough work, anyone can achieve their dreams.  But the future is daunting.  Sometimes there's so much to do, that I just refuse to handle it, and drown it all away in too-loud music.

I beg you to stay with me though.  I'm going to continue writing this blog.  I'll probably lose followers, but I enjoy writing.  I will be traveling rather extensively this year, so in essence it still is a bit of a travel blog.  I'm heading to Mexico in a little over two weeks, and Thailand/Vietnam this summer, as well as possibly Sri Lanka and India this fall.  I'll be writing about my life.  Just the life of a rather abnormal, confused, sometimes depressed, and rather colorful teenager.  I still have peacock hair and a few piercings in my face.  I have a lot to say, even if I don't say it out loud.  In a way, this is my journal, and I hope you still continue to follow along.


Now that I'm back, I have no problem posting music again!

First up, me getting my septum piercing a few days ago.  It's not music...but y'know...

Of Mice And Men.  Best.  Band.  Ever.